Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
