oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
