dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
