Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
