Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
