Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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