SEEEEXXX PLEASE
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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