Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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