i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I just gargled with NyQuil
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
