she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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