Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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