She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
