Need sex. Gaining weight.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
