These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
