I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize