You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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