i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i think i have herpe
just one?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
ttyl tear gas
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
