I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
