You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
