508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
