Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize