Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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