I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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