It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Do vagina's smell?
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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