I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
