You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize