I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
