i just google imaged poop.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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