Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize