Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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