And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
