wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
no. you can't hotbox the world.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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