my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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