So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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