Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Randomize
