Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
