I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
