Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
