i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
People in love make me want to vomit
Quick, to the slutcave!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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