I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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