He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
