5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
