you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
