pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
