Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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