I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
