Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
