Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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