Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
