i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
