you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
