so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
