YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
