I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
