They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
