Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
