so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
