And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
