u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
