Where are you?
In a non slutty way
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
