How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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