My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
