i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Randomize
