The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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