I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize